The Off-colored Officer - A Logical Reply-Explanation to Zee Avi's Kantoi


I am tempted to do this. It is the end of semester break and I have nothing to do (else). So here's a verse-by-verse reply-explanation to the lyrics of Zee Avi's Manglish song "Kantoi".

Semalam I call you, you tak answer
You kata you keluar pergi dinner
You kata you keluar dengan kawan you
But when I call Tommy he said it wasn't true

The logic:
The guy (in the song) couldn't possibly have only one friend, which is Tommy. He might also have Jimmy, Andy, Larry, and Scotty to his stable of friends where he occasionally hangs out with for a bite. And Tommy didn't know about it (the going out for a dinner thing) because he wasn't invited, or something.

The solution:
Call the guy's other friends who might have been with him having dinner.

So I drove my car pergi Damansara
Tommy kata maybe you tengok bola
Tapi bila I sampai you tak ada
Lagi lah I jadi gila

The logic:
Damansara is not the only place where people hang out to watch football/soccer matches. Maybe the guy went to Bangsar, or Hartamas, or Petaling Jaya, or Subang Jaya.

The solution:
Install a tracking device on the guy. There is simply limitless possibility as to where exactly did the guy went to watch EPL.

So I called and called sampai you answer
You kata: "Sorry sayang tadi tak dengar"
"My phone was on silent. I was at the gym"
Tapi latar belakang suara perempuan lain

The logic:
I am pretty sure that if you go to any good gym here in Malaysia, they will have one or two female instructors. You know, maybe for pilates class, or yoga, or aerobic. So when the girl called the guy, and she heard a woman's voice in the background, that could have just been the voice of some female instructor at the gym handling her class or something. Or it could have possibly been the television. The guy had just finished working out so went to the lounge area (where the gym could possibly have a TV) to chill out a bit where only then he realized that his girlfriend has been trying to reach him like mad.

The solution:
Read this carefully: tracking device.

But then:
IF it is true that he was at the gym.